Luke Jeffery looks at what’s new in the latest edition of The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace.
You are probably familiar with The 5 Love Languages – words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, tangible gifts, physical touch. Author Gary Chapman later teamed up with Paul White to apply this concept to the workplace. Since The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace was published in 2011, much has changed, with the rise of remote working, Zoom meetings and the increase of Gen Z in the workforce. A new 2024 edition includes fresh examples, research and discussion.
In a study, only 12% of employees were found to change jobs because they wanted more money; and for millennials, ‘more money’ was found to be their least likely reason for changing jobs. In fact, ‘79% of employees who leave their jobs voluntarily cite a lack of appreciation as a key reason for their leaving’. And this is not just true of the corporate world. The authors note, ‘In our work with church staff members and individuals who work for other nonchurch ministries, we consistently find a deep hunger for appreciation. These people are not looking for financial reward and rarely desire high levels of praise. But when appreciation is not forthcoming, they often become discouraged.’
In some work environments, the issue is the attitude of those in charge: ‘Work is about getting things done. I don’t care how people feel about it.’ But in other places, managerial staff can be genuinely proactive in showing appreciation and yet be ineffective. This can easily lead to frustration when staff or volunteers continue to complain and may eventually leave altogether.
To be effective, an expression of appreciation must firstly match the receiver’s 'language'. The most common language in the work context is words of affirmation and the least is tangible gifts. Secondly, it should be individualised (i.e. personal to the receiver). Thirdly, it should be given in the way the receiver will appreciate. If someone responds to acts of service, do the job in the way they would want it done. Similarly, not everyone who needs words of affirmation likes to be recognised in front of the whole organisation. Fourthly, it must be honest. There is an entire chapter dedicated to what to do if you don’t actually appreciate a worker or volunteer!
A common mistake is to assume that it is solely the leader’s job to show appreciation. Whilst Baby Boomers often looked to their supervisor for appreciation, Gen Z are more likely to look to team members. In the past, someone who needed quality time may have appreciated ten minutes in their boss’s office to talk about the company, but they are now more likely to want to have a friendly chat with coworkers. ‘If colleagues are regularly asking friends to go shopping with them or come over to their house for dinner, they are asking for quality time.’
This necessitates creating a culture of appreciation within an organisation, such as through ‘language of appreciation’ training.
We now also have the challenge of remote and hybrid working post-Covid. The authors point out that ‘there is not just one type of remote employee relationship’. The strategies we develop need to be adaptable. Foundational to all work relationships is building trust – and this is especially relevant when employees are out of sight. The book identifies the practical challenges of building and maintaining workplace culture remotely, stressing the need for clear communication, understanding individual preferences and creating personal connections to combat loneliness and enhance team cohesion. There are some practical suggestions regarding how to apply each of the languages of appreciation when working remotely, but the authors also warn about the limitations of virtual communication; personal, in-person interactions are irreplaceable for deeper understanding and stronger work relationships.
The ‘languages’ are easy to remember, but getting this right for everyone all the time could seem overwhelming. The authors helpfully suggest, ‘The key is to start somewhere with someone.’ And how can we learn what their language of appreciation is? ‘Observe what they request of others’, ‘Listen to their complaints’ and ‘Explore how they are encouraged’.
The book comes with an access code (worth US$20) to the online MBA (Motivating By Appreciation) Inventory, allowing you to identify your own language of appreciation – so why not buy a copy and get started today?
Together Magazine
Together is the Christian resources magazine for the UK, with stories of what God is doing across the church today, book reviews and publishing industry news. Subscribe now at www.togethermagazine.org.